Chronic Pain: The Brain and Pain Perception - Invigorate Your Autoimmune Journey

Grief is something we often associate with the loss of a loved one. But, for those living with autoimmune diseases, grief shows up in more ways than we usually name.

It can be quiet, confusing, and invisible. It can sit in the body as much as in the heart. And it often arrives in seasons—some expected, some not.

Chris and I explored what grief really feels like. We examined how it manifests in chronic illness.

We also discussed how we can move through it with compassion and community.

Here’s a deeper dive into those insights—especially for anyone navigating grief right now.

Grief Isn’t Just Sadness—And It Isn’t Just About Loss of People

Grief is woven into the human experience. As Chris shared, it’s a foundational emotion: a response to losing something meaningful—whether or not it’s a person.

When living with an autoimmune disease, grief can show up as:

The ache of losing your old self
The frustration of a changing body
The fear that life will never look the same
The isolation of feeling misunderstood
The loss of independence, mobility, or routines
The shift in roles, relationships, or career identity
The foods or traditions you can no longer partake in

Many people don’t even realize what they’re experiencing is grief. It can look like sadness, but it can also look like:

Anger
Anxiety
Irritability
Emotional shutdown
Trying to control everything
Exhaustion
Feeling “behind” or “not yourself.”

Grief doesn’t have one face—and it definitely doesn’t have one timeline.

Grief Happens in Waves, Not Stages

We often hear about “the stages of grief,” but real life is not that tidy.

Grief is more like the ocean:

Sometimes waves crash hard.
Sometimes they gently wash up and recede.
Sometimes the water is calm…
…until the next swell rises without warning.

As Chris said, grief creates a hole that doesn’t disappear. Instead, we grow life around it. That’s where hope lives—not in erasing grief, but in enlarging our lives so the grief doesn’t define everything.

Honoring Your Old Self While Embracing Who You’re Becoming

One of the hardest parts of chronic illness is wanting to go “back to normal.”

But there is no going back—and that’s not failure. It’s evolution.

Just as artists move through eras (hello, Beyoncé and Taylor Swift), we do too.

Illness can mark the beginning of a new era—one built not on loss, but on transformation:

You gain empathy for others.
You learn boundaries you never knew you needed.
You discover strength you didn’t know you had.
You appreciate moments you used to rush past.

You aren’t leaving your old self behind—you’re integrating that version of you into a wiser, deeper you.

Recognizing When Grief Is Becoming a “Home” Instead of a Visit

It’s normal to feel grief regularly, especially during health setbacks. But it becomes a danger when grief turns into a place you live instead of a place you visit.

How can you tell?

By knowing your baseline.

A helpful practice is checking in daily:

Where am I emotionally today?
Does this feel like me?
Am I forcing cheerfulness?
Am I sharper, angrier, or more withdrawn than usual?
Do I feel trapped in this feeling?
What would help me return to myself?

Self-awareness is a form of self-protection—it helps you know when to seek community, therapy, support, or new coping tools.

The Power of Community in Navigating Grief

Humans are wired for connection. Isolation makes grief heavier.

But chronic illness can make the community tough. Sometimes your closest people don’t get it. Sometimes caregivers struggle too—they’re grieving their own loss of “how life used to be.”

They’re carrying pressure, fear, and responsibility they never voice.

This is why building community before a crisis matters. Check in on people when things are good. Keep nurturing the small connections. Build your circle in seasons of strength, so it’s there in moments of weakness.

Because grief was never meant to be carried alone.

How Grief Shows Up During the Holidays (In Ways We Don’t Always Recognize)

The holidays have a way of magnifying everything—joy, yes…but also grief.

For those living with chronic illness, grief during the holidays can look like:

✨ Missing people who have passed away

Even if it’s been years, memories surface more vividly in December. Traditions bring their absence into sharp focus.

You can feel:

Loneliness in moments when they should be there
Guilt for celebrating without them
Sadness that hits in waves at unexpected times

✨ Grieving your “old healthy self.”

The holidays highlight the contrast between who you were and who you are now:

You don’t have the energy to host like you used to.
You need to leave early or cancel altogether.
You watch others do things your body can’t.
You miss feeling carefree during this season.

And that grief is real.

✨ Missing foods, traditions, or routines you can no longer enjoy

This one is so specific to the autoimmune community—and not talked about enough.

You can grieve:

The comfort foods you used to love
Holiday cooking or baking, you can’t join in
Family gatherings revolving around meals you can’t eat
The ease of eating “whatever” without consequences

Food is emotional. It’s memory. It’s culture. Losing certain foods is a form of grief.

✨ Feeling the pressure to “put on a happy face.”

While everyone around you is cheerfully posting highlight reels, you’re feeling:

Exhausted
In a flare
Overstimulated
Sad
Or just…not okay

You’re allowed to protect your peace.
You’re allowed to grieve.
You’re allowed to feel differently from the room you’re in.

And you’re allowed to create new traditions that honor your current needs.

If You’re Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving

You don’t need the perfect words.

You don’t need to fix anything.

What people need most is:

To be heard
To be seen
To be given space without pressure
To be reminded of their dignity
To be supported rather than rushed

Listening is healing. Presence is healing. Patience is healing.

If You’re Grieving Right Now

Whether this season feels heavy, confusing, lonely, or simply different—you’re not alone.

Grief doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you’ve loved deeply, lived fully, and lost meaningfully.

And you deserve support through every wave.

Chris and I are here for you.
Your community is here for you.
Our Invigorate family is here for you.

DM us, comment, reach out—we want to walk with you through it.

Until next time, take care of yourself.
And as Chris always reminds us:

Choose kindness. You never know what someone is carrying.

Integrating These Mindset Shifts with Invigorate Coaching

Science is clear: mindset influences healing, resilience, immunity, energy, and behavior change.

But mindset doesn’t shift through reading alone.
It shifts through:

Guided reflection
Personalized self-talk strategies
Accountability with compassion
Habit architecture
Identity alignment

That’s exactly what Invigorate Coaching specializes in.

Through our work, you will:

Uncover your Why
Build a healing mindset
Reduce stress-driven inflammation
Rewrite inner narratives
Adopt sustainable habits
Establish routines that support recovery and growth

If you’re ready to turn mindset into momentum:

Book your free clarity call with us:

Let’s map your next level of healing — together.

Message us!

FAQ

Does mindset affect physical health?
Yes — self-talk influences cortisol, inflammation, and autonomic nervous system activity.

Can self-talk actually help healing?
Supportive inner speech can reduce stress hormones, enhance resilience, and improve recovery.

How can I develop a healing mindset?
Start with your Why, practice compassionate self-talk, and adopt a sliding-scale habit approach.

What coaching is best for mindset change?
Mind-body-based coaching, like Invigorate, helps integrate psychological and lifestyle shifts for long-term change.

Dance on, friends,
Karin

P.S. If you live with an autoimmune condition or love someone who does, know this: You’re not alone. Get in touch with us – we’d love to connect!

P.S.S.✨ Start your journey today. Connect with us and discover how small, science-backed adjustments can transform your energy.

They can also transform your mood and health this season.

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This content is for general education and shared experiences only and is not medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your care or treatment plan.